black and white and annoying all over

Do you walk past an angry magpie every morning on the way to work? I do.

I’m 10-30, male, and respond aggressively to being headslapped by a coward who then glides into a tree 30 feet above my head. I was actually surprised to learn there’s ever such a thing as a warning swoop; the little bastard near me has always just gone for my head.

He’ll come after me even if I’m looking straight at him; I either have to duck every swoop or put my fists up and mock-punch the air (the latter is more fun – ever seen a bird skid mid-dive?).

There’s an easy solution – contact your local Department of Environment & Climate Change office and report where it is and what it does (they’ll ask if it’s actually hitting you or not, if it’s swooping other people too etc). I was told basically they’d pass the info on to a ranger, they’ll probably do something about it, and to wear an umbrella in the meantime. Worth a try.

Public service announcement ends.

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